With No Good Deed opening up this friday, It’s time to switch out the obligatory trailer for a generic domestic thriller that plays at every single movie, and man do we have a lame one in the pipeline with ‘The Boy Next Door’. The story centers on Jennifer Lopez (who seems to be intentionally staring in terrible movies at this point) who plays a heartbroken suburban mother and teacher who’s husband recently cheated on her. She comes across a young man named Noah living next door, and strikes up an affair with him. After coming to her senses and rejecting any further doing of the nasty, the boy (who also just so happens to be in her class) goes insane and tires to destroy her life. You might say that he’s a little ‘Obsessed’ with this ‘Fatal Attraction’
There isn’t a moment of this trailer that isn’t unintentionally hilarious, derailing right off the bat with Kristin Chenoweth’s obnoxious voice supposedly setting the ominous mood over shots of J Lo running in stressed panic. Seriously, has Chenoweth even seen an R rated movie before? Why is she here? Anyway, it only gets more and more cheesy as it goes on, with Noah making weirdly obvious sexual innuendoes in front of Lopez’s whole family, particularly one moment when Lopez’s husband and son describe how dry it was at the lake they were vacationing at, and Noah looks at J Lo and says “well it got pretty wet here!” heh..heh…get it…because, like, her vagina ;). It dosen’t look scary, intense, or even a little sexy. It’s just a typical plastic, generic film that is destined to play on Cinemax at one in the morning until the day we all die. I suppose it’s a pretty typical film for crap master Rob Cohen (Alex Cross, Stealth) though. Hopefully I don’t have to see this trailer too many times before this thing gets dumped in January where it belongs.
The Boy Next Door Opens January 23rd